A recent webinar hosted by the Word on Fire Institute featured the Sisters of Life, who spoke about the powerful role that men and fathers play in influencing the outcome of an unplanned pregnancy.

Often, the mother feels alone and questions whether she is able to be a mother to her baby. The Sisters tell us that she needs to know she is not alone, that she is good, and that she is able to do it. This is a role that the Sisters play when they support pregnant women, but they share that when a man tells the pregnant mom the same thing, it has a powerful effect.

For the father of the baby, how he expresses support for the mother is crucial. However, the Sisters explain that when a father of the baby says, “I will support you, no matter what you choose,” it is actually not helpful to the mother.

This seemingly supportive statement, even if it is intended to be supportive, often has the effect of putting the burden entirely on the mother and causing her to feel isolated, not supported. The Sisters explain that what the mother needs to hear is, “This is our child. I am with you. I am for you. I want to bring this child to life.” And when a woman hears that from him, she is strengthened and is more inclined to choose life.

The pregnant woman’s own father can also have a significant influence on his daughter, who is often afraid of disappointing her parents. When her own father expresses support and encouragement, this can strengthen her and help her find the courage to give birth to her baby. In the webinar, the Sisters share a touching story of how a father’s embrace and words of support calmed his pregnant daughter’s fears of disappointing him, and she then felt more confident in bringing her baby to life.

The Sisters also touch on the power of spiritual fathers. Most of the women who come to them for deeper healing do so because a priest, “first preached mercy to them, and kindness, and compassion, and spoke God’s mercy to them.”

In addition to actual fathers and spiritual fathers, the Sisters also speak of the power of men who are “masculine mentors” who see the goodness in others, “saying it, claiming it, protecting it, and fighting for it,” and how it “literally is lifesaving.”

Regardless of whether the father of the baby in an unplanned pregnancy has a role in the abortion, or whether, despite his best efforts, is powerless to save his baby, he can later suffer from regret and guilt. Just as with post-abortive women, there is hope and healing for men. The Sisters encourage men suffering from an abortion related experience to seek healing and forgiveness, telling them that God wants to heal and restore them. A few resources for men are listed below:

Post-abortion resources for men:

USCCB Pamphlet: “The Hollow Man:” Male Grief and Trauma Following Abortion: usccb.org/resources/The-Hollow-Men-Male-Grief-and-Trauma-Following-Abortion.pdf

Project Rachel: hopeafterabortion.com

Support After Abortion: supportafterabortion.com

Men for Life: menforlife.org

Other resources:

Word on Fire Institute: Evangelization & Culture Seminar on “A People of Life, for Life”: youtube.com/watch?v=MGSwK8sMVRE

Sisters of Life: sistersoflife.org

Sisters of Life (video series) Into Life: Love Changes Everything: intolifeseries.com