In John’s Gospel, Jesus reveals something intimate and striking about His relationship with the Father that applies to all of us. The relationship that Jesus has with the Apostles is the Father’s gift to Him. The Father brings them into His life. For us, then, that means that every relationship we have is also a gift from God and that all relationships must be directed to union with the Father’s will, which ultimately results in salvation in heaven.

While that may sound trite, there is a deep theological truth contained within it: God sends people into our life. There is also an apparent contradiction: If God sends people into my life, then why are there people who really annoy me (or worse)? How can they be a gift? Well, each personal interaction requires a response. All of those interactions require an exercise in virtue. Those virtues may include love, patience, forgiveness, or mercy depending upon the type of relationship.

When we struggle with people in trying relationships, we have to ask ourselves: Why has God put this person in my life? What virtue is He calling me to exercise so that I may grow in holiness (that is, love of God and love of neighbor)? How am I to express my love for this person by means of the greatest commandment: There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends (John 15:13). If each person is handpicked, or at least permitted by God’s permissive will, then how do I recognize the “gift” of that person? How do I thank God for the difficult people in my life “forcing” me to grow in holiness? Well, we should thank God for all of them.

In the life of Jesus there was Mary and Joseph on the one hand who loved Him. On the other hand, there was also Judas Iscariot and Pontius Pilate who betrayed Him and sent Him to His execution. But Jesus thanks the Father for all of them as being a gift sent from heaven.

If we want to advance in holiness, then we should learn to pray in the way that Jesus prayed — thanking the Father for all those people who were a part of our day today: those who loved us, those who mistreated us, and even those who hated us. Why? Because if we truly believe that they are the Father’s gift to us, then we will benefit by exercising virtue toward each one of them — even when it hurts, because it makes us godly.

Jesus further prays that “the love with which you loved me may be in them” (John 17:26). For those who are the most difficult people in our lives, we can pray for them that they may know the Father’s love. When we pray like Jesus, then we become more like Jesus. Yes, Father, all people are your gift to me. Help me to love them virtuously as you love them.