I first thought about being a priest when I was five years old. I recall being at Mass one Sunday, looking up at the sanctuary wall and being transfixed by Christ on the Cross, then lowering my eyes to the priest immediately below and thinking: “I can do that. I want to do that.” Little did I understand at the time what the “that” was, but I knew deep down “that” was it. The seed had been planted and, without my being aware of it, discernment began.

As I grew older and my understanding developed and appreciation heightened for God and the things of God, I consciously noticed my increasing love for the Holy Mass, fascination with being in the church, desire to serve at the altar, and great affinity for thinking and talking about the “higher things.” As I studied and learned more, I noticed myself making connections between natural and supernatural realities with ever greater regularity and fervor. I believe this was (and still is) God’s manner of hooking my soul into a life of prayer, enflamed with the desire to see Him and His handiwork evermore clearly, truly, and simply. Again, the workings of discernment were present in the deepest and truest longings of my mind, heart, and soul, the source of which was God Himself.

I am always captivated when gazing upon a beautiful crucifix and, in the silence, prayerfully meditating on the Divine Love of the Most-High God incarnate in the striking vulnerability of His Beloved Son. The full, unadulterated Truth on display. This is when and where discernment really takes shape and formation begins in earnest. No pretense. No niceties for niceties’ sake; simply face-to-face with what and Who Is. It is not complicated. Perhaps the time may seem long and the journey arduous, but it is not complicated. Why? Because Christ, Who is the Light, makes everything clear so that the soul knows how to move ahead. One doesn’t come to know Christ by way of discernment, for the Lord Jesus is himself “the Way.” Instead, discernment becomes operative and consistent as the soul comes to know Christ. Discernment doesn’t lead the soul to Christ. Rather, it is Christ who leads the soul and reveals to it, by Way of His own life, that calling to which it has been created. In other words, knowing Christ sets discernment in motion. Discernment blossoms in silence and flourishes through prayer.

As the soul comes to know itself evermore through Christ’s revelation to it, it will come to appreciate the gifts, talents, abilities, and affections rendered to it by Almighty God. When the soul’s highest love is God, then it willingly and zealously considers the question: what would my Creator have me do to glorify Him, and to love my neighbor for His sake? Discernment, then, is grounded in love, so the soul must learn to pose and answer the question: What or who do I love?

All too often discernment can be approached as a cold, time-consuming process grafted onto life. It is meant to ascertain the answer to “something big,” but apart from substantial deliberation discernment plays only a mitigated role in the day-to-day of one’s life. From this point of view, discernment is little more than an ancillary component of existence. This is discernment in its most basic and seed-like form.

Now consider the many deliberations and choices that one makes each day, usually without even thinking too strenuously about it: what to eat; what to wear; who to call; what emails and text messages to respond to, and how to do so; etc. Because man is a rationale animal, discernment is integral to his existence, so that even the most seemingly insignificant choices he makes and performs, inform and transform his very self. Hence, the importance of the soul’s being constantly mindful of Christ.

It is not a matter of “what would Jesus do?”; it is rather, “what has Christ said and done, so that I may know what and how to say and do.” In other words, discernment begins with Christ, not the self. Blessed Dominic Barberi, the Passionist priest who helped convert Saint John Henry Cardinal Newman and bring him into the Catholic Church, offers the following insight: “No matter what efforts I make, I cannot die to myself without [God’s] grace. I am like a frog, which no matter how high it leaps always finishes up back in the mud. No matter how hard I try to escape from myself, I always come back to myself and my self-love. Draw me then, O Lord, draw me after You; for unless You do so, I cannot move even one step from myself.”

Even though, ironically, discernment revolves around particulars of the self, it isn’t something self-initiated, self-referential, or self-serving; it is not intended to be selfish in any facet. When done well, discernment brings one out of oneself and places him in God. Well-ordered discernment is initiated by Christ, always refers to Christ, and serves Christ’s Providential Will. Discernment in its purest form is remarkable since it is primarily the act of God while simultaneously being an act of Man because it is the divine work of the God-Man, Jesus Christ, on the soul, in the soul, and through the soul.

I first thought about being a priest when I was five years old. Discernment, as a concept, was not in my mind, but it was at work. My eyes were (and continue to be) captivated by Christ, and that has made all the difference.