“Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.” I recall seeing this quote in a framed cross-stitched pattern in my childhood living room. The thought implies, of course, that being a “daddy” involves more than just biological ties; it suggests a deeper, emotional connection and commitment to nurturing and supporting the child.

I was thinking of this quote recently while reflecting on how our culture has shifted its view of fathers, particularly in television and movies. We went from watching fathers who were heads of the family, providers, protectors, and disciplinarians to absentee fathers, sperm donors, “adult-children” and co-parents.

So, what is the true role of a father? The answer can be found in one timeless source: our divine Father.

The concept of fatherhood has been with us since the beginning of humanity. God provided His people with multiple models of faith such as Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. These men portrayed God’s idea of how fathers should lead their families. Slowly, over time, humans estranged themselves from God through sin and modifying His original plan for families.

These days views of fatherhood waver between stereotypes and shifting cultural norms. The role of a father is often relegated to mere financial provider or biological donor. Our society has conditioned us to believe that children are resilient and do not need a father. Yet, beneath the surface, there is evidence of a longing for connection and leadership, a yearning for the nurturing presence of a father figure. Sadly, this is apparent with the increase in fatherless homes shown consistent with a rise in crime, addiction, and behavior issues according to the US Census Bureau.*

Accepting God’s intent for the role of fathers amid today’s cultural challenges requires a willingness to go beyond societal norms and expectations. Fathers are called to be dedicated, standing firm in faith, and encouraging of their children throughout their lives. We need fathers now more than ever to be more than biological donors who step up to reclaim God’s plan for them as the head of their family, protector, and guardian. Fathers are called to be present and engaged in their children’s lives. God entrusted them with fostering the value of prayer and virtue within their families, instilling in their children a deep reverence for God and a commitment to living the Gospel. For this reason, the Catholic Church encourages husbands and fathers of today to look to St. Joseph.

Despite his absence of biological paternity, St. Joseph’s devotion and noble care for Jesus demonstrated the heart of fatherhood in its purest form. From protecting the Holy Family during their flight to Egypt to nurturing Jesus’ growth in wisdom and stature, St. Joseph embodied the virtues of humility, courage, and sacrificial love. Despite the unusual family dynamic for that time, Joseph humbly surrendered to God’s divine plan for him by taking on the role of the earthly father of our savior. His dedication to his family continued as he humbly led them day after day. Surely, Joseph was instrumental in teaching Jesus how to read the scriptures, the skill of carpentry, life lessons, and the value of hard work. I like to think of a young Jesus following his daddy around his workshop with innocent curiosity, handing him tools, and being willing to be a “big helper” in his trade.

So perhaps the saying, “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy,” bears truth. Fathers continue to be called by God to reclaim the sacredness of the divine vocation allotted to them at creation. We need to honor and celebrate this vital role in family life. In doing so, men will grow deeper connections with their children and ultimately transform from “father” to “daddy.”

*U.S. Census Bureau. (2023). Living arrangements of children under 18 years old: 1960 to present. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Census Bureau

— Originally published in the Summer 2024 issue of  Vermont Catholic magazine.