Of the many issues addressed by Catholic social teaching, few are as fraught or emotionally charged as the issue of divorce.

It is no secret that, over the last several decades, the prevailing cultural attitude surrounding divorce has changed significantly. In 1968, a little over one-fourth of all marriages in the United States ended in divorce. The following year, California became the first state to legalize no-fault divorce, and within five years almost every other state in the Union had followed suit. By 1980, the divorce rate had skyrocketed to an all-time peak, with half of all marriages ending in divorce.

While divorce rates have been on a slow, steady decline since then, they remain high; today, approximately 40% of all marriages in the United States are predicted to end in divorce. Catholic marriages, while somewhat insulated from this trend, are not immune; according to a Pew Research study in 2024, nominal Catholics were only 5% less likely to divorce their spouse than the general population. Practicing Catholics fared better, but only to a limited degree; married Catholics who practice their faith are 31% less likely to divorce.

“I think a lot of divorced Catholics feel like there isn’t really a place for them” explained Deacon Joshua McDonald, of Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish in Williston. “That’s not to say our communities are openly hostile, or reject them, but it can often feel isolating to return to your parish following divorce.” Since 2024, Deacon McDonald has operated a support group and program for divorced Catholics in the Diocese of Burlington. Though it faced initial challenges and a slow start, the ministry now attracts increasing interest.

“There is a misconception among some Catholics that divorce cuts you off from your faith, cuts you off from the sacraments” Deacon McDonald said. “Of course, remarrying without first obtaining an annulment does just that, but many Catholics who have experienced divorce aren’t in that situation.” The ministry takes the form of a 12-step program, over a period of several months, which aims to guide Catholics through the various challenges they may face during and after a divorce. “A lot of it is just the practical, logistical stuff, adapting to single life, dividing assets, and of course how to move forward appropriately with childcare” Deacon McDonald explained. “Then, later, we get into the complicated emotions surrounding divorce. A lot of Catholics feel like divorce means they ‘failed’; there’s often a lot of anger, feelings of betrayal, and grief. Working through those feelings in non-destructive ways is a big part of our ministry.”

This ministry is not a recent idea for Deacon McDonald; he first began conceptualizing the idea following his own divorce. “It has its origins about 25 years ago, shortly after my divorce, when I saw a bulletin saying the diocese was beginning a ministry for divorced Catholics and needed leadership. I volunteered, I went through the training, but the ministry itself never really got off the ground.” Despite this initial setback, Deacon McDonald recognized the need for such a ministry; “It was always in the back of my mind that this was a ministry that could be beneficial … and finally, a couple of years ago, a parishioner here at Immaculate Heart of Mary suggested it as well.”

Today, Deacon McDonald’s ministry aids divorced Catholics across the entire diocese. Deacon McDonald has observed significant growth since the program’s inception. “We had an initial meeting at St. John Vianney in South Burlington about two years ago. Father Naples was very receptive and helpful, but we didn’t have a big response. This fall, though, we’ve had a good group from across the state.” The hybridization of the program has been a boon for attendance; “We had way more people sign up when we started offering Zoom sessions” Deacon McDonald laughed.

Currently, the ministry is still growing and developing; to keep up with increased demand, Deacon McDonald has worked to ensure the ministry’s programming remains accessible to as many as possible. “We have both male and female leadership” Deacon McDonald said; “While there are a lot of common threads with the subjects we discuss, it’s helpful to have both perspectives. Right now, we are aiming to do two sessions a year, each 12 weeks in length; one in the spring, and one in the fall.” Feedback so far has been positive; “A lot of what I hear is how relieved people are, to understand that their problems aren’t just theirs, there are other people, other Catholics in their situation and that there are actual answers to the questions they have.”

“Ultimately, this is about getting people back into the community” Deacon McDonald concluded. “I think in many cases, our parishes don’t really know what to do with single adults, especially those who were once married. This ministry is a way for these folks to feel welcomed again and to continue to participate.” In an age when people across all demographics, Catholics included, are more likely to experience divorce than almost any other point in recent history, this ministry of healing is perhaps more necessary than ever before.

Those interested in participating in or assisting with Deacon McDonald’s ministry are encouraged to contact him directly, at [email protected].

VTC • Evan Wing